Like a donkey

Sometimes I have the maturity level of a 5-year-old. I know I've done something wrong, I don't remember what it was, but I still feel bad about it.

It's like when a child gets a scratch on his hand, and he's crying because he knows it's supposed to hurt, but then he'll easily forget the pain when the next distraction comes along.

That's the way it is with me and tilt. I'm vaguely pissed off about something that went wrong in the game, but I know that the best way for me to not be angry about it is to get distracted by the next hand.

Ideally, I could realize what went right or wrong and not even let it bother me. I would be calm and collected, at peace with the things I can't control and making the most out of the things I can.

But even when I do everything right and somehow I don't win, I'm tilt-prone because I don't like the sensation of losing.

See? This is not mature, rational behavior.

OK, now that I've gotten that down, let's look in PokerTracker and remember exactly what it was that got me pissed off ...

Ah, here it is. I ran AQ into a fishy player's A6 that flopped two pair. Then I ran JJ into a set of fours, and a couple of hands later I continuation bet JJ into a flopped Ace and got raised.

None of these hands broke me. I think I'd play the AQ hand the same way against that player. I got a little bit stubborn with JJ on such a nondescript flop. And then that continuation bet with JJ into that flopped A was kind of ridonkulous.

Whatever.

When I was a kid who loved the original Nintendo, I insisted on using the NES Advantage, which was the controller with the big buttons and the joystick. I wanted to beat every game I played, but sometimes I'd completely lose my temper and smash the NES Advantage into the floor out of anger.

I ruined four NES Advantages that way, and I had to pull a lot of weeds to earn enough extra allowance to buy a new one.

My temper isn't that bad anymore. I haven't thrown my wireless mouse or tossed my laptop into a swimming pool, like I heard Mike Matasow did once.

I do still squirm like the donkey I am when I don't get my way, and it costs me.

The only solutions I know of are to stop playing if I'm not playing well, practice and try to be patient.