Hassle

I went to a lot of trouble to get that damn 25TO100MARCH bonus at Party Poker.

I figured it would be worth it for the potential $300 reward. It was a 25 percent bonus up to $100. If you cleared the first $100 over 1,000 hands in fewer than three days, you would get another $100 bonus to clear over 1,500 hands in the next three days. Then there would be a final $100 that would take 2,000 hands.

What a deal, I thought. I can work off that bonus in my sleep, especially if I play five or six no limit tables at a time.

But I ran into problems.

The first difficulty is that I didn't have any money in my Moneybookers account, which is my only available funding method for Party Poker for various reasons. I couldn't withdraw to Moneybookers and redeposit, because that would invalidate the bonus. I couldn't redeposit from my bank account, because the bonus deposit period would be over by the time my deposit cleared. I couldn't find anyone to make a direct transfer to my account either.

Eventually, an affiliate helped me out by making a deposit into my account with the bonus code. Great!

Except for that Party Poker didn't give me the bonus at first. They gave in after two e-mails.

OK, finally. I could get to work.

I played about 500 hands on the first day, but I thought I had played more. The next day I went out for a drink and watched "Syriana," and by the time I got home, I didn't feel like playing. The third day, I played out the hands I needed to clear the first level of the bonus.

I was getting very sleepy, though. I checked my bonus status, and it said I had cleared 24 hands toward the bonus.

"Oh, I guess that means I cleared the first level and have already started on the second level," I thought.

I woke up in the morning and checked again. It actually meant I had 24 hands left to go to clear the first bonus.

And I was way outkicked: the 3-day time limit to be eligible for the second and third $100 bonuses had elapsed while I was sleeping overnight.

If I had played 24 more hands, I would be $200 richer! So stupid! I went through all that effort and didn't even get the payoff. I was on major tilt, and I hadn't even played a hand.

So I sat down, opened up 10 tables of .10/.25 no limit poker and played the 24 remaining hands needed to clear the first $100 bonus. At least I got that much.

Stupid bonuses.