Dead Man's Hand

First of all, check out Kuro's interview with Jeff Williams, who recently won the EPT Grand Final. It's good stuff.

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I still don't know whether it's easier to play poker now that I have a real job to support myself. I mean, there's certainly less pressure to make money, but then on the other hand, maybe that pressure was a good thing. Maybe I played better because I had to play better. Perhaps I pushed myself harder because the consequences were more serious if I didn't.

Sure, it's harder to play when you feel like you have to win. But maybe that handicap made me a better player.

Now, I sit down for my two-hour sessions every night and just play out the clock. Time's up! Now I'll watch TV!

Overall, though, I'm much happier playing poker separate from real life. I couldn't stand it that my bankroll was always shrinking. And living off of poker wasn't sustainable for me -- I'm lucky I lasted those eight months or so.

Playing poker all the time is exactly the kind of existence that online pros explain it as: unfulfilling. The satisfaction of dragging in big pots only lasts for a short time.

On the other hand, it's one hell of a lifestyle. I had more free time than I knew what to do with, and I had a lot of fun. The only downside (besides the prospect of going broke) was that I felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything at all.

I always think of Wild Bill Hickock in "Deadwood." He arrives in Deadwood wanting to retire. All he wants to do is play cards.

"Won't you just let me die in my own way?" he says.

Playing cards doesn't seem like much of a way to go out, but it's certainly more fun than a lot of other ways to waste your life.