The Perfect Donkey

After a long road of busting fish, taking small edges and building bankroll, you hope for that golden opportunity in which you'll be able to make a big score.

I stumbled upon that chance at a 10/20 table last night. I can't imagine there was more dead money at any other online table at the time. And it all came from one player, who I will call the Perfect Donkey. I got a seat directly to his left.

Perfect Donkey was loose (55 percent VP$IP), and he spewed chips at every opportunity and in a predictable manner. If he raised preflop and was reraised, he would go all in. If he bet out postflop and was raised, he would go all in with any Ace-high, pair or drawing hand. With made hands, he would minraise.

By sheer luck, he was building a monster stack. In 255 hands, I saw Perfect Donkey win a more than $5,000 pot with King-high, no draw against another player's flush draw with overcards. He got in with a flush draw on the turn and hit on the river against KK. He pushed with A6o on a 579 flop and hit his gutshot on the turn against JJ. He pushed an open-ended straight draw on the flop against QQ and hit on the turn.

I knew I would have a chance soon to pick a spot in a large pot.

It's funny -- after learning and playing day after day, the situation that I've been waiting for is to the left of an idiot with money. Everyone else at the table is a shark, but they didn't even bother to play against each other most of the time as they salivated over the thought of getting it in against Perfect Donkey. If Perfect Donkey wasn't in a hand, no one was.

Against this guy, I would happily take a potential coinflip because I could also have him completely dominated.

So when I was dealt AK, I reraised Perfect Donkey's $80 bet to $240, knowing he would push and I would call.

That's exactly what happened. He turned over KQ, missed a Queen, and I had doubled up!

Now with my double-sized stack, I would have a chance to make some serious money off Perfect Donkey, who somehow kept growing his chips upwards of $10,000 -- five times his initial buy-in of $2,000.

I didn't have to wait long.

I raised from under the gun with A9s. Perfect Donkey called in the big blind. The flop came a beautiful 8d, 9c, 5d to give me top pair with a nut flush draw. My only goal was to get all my money in the middle as soon as possible, and I knew it wouldn't be hard against this guy.

He bet out $60, and I raised him all in to $4,100. He called and turned over J8o for second pair, no draw.

http://twodimes.net/h/?z=2725493
pokenum  -h ad 9d  - 8h jd  -- 8d 9c 5d
Holdem Hi: 990 enumerated boards containing 9c 8d 5d
cards  win   %win  lose  %lose  tie  %tie     EV
Ad 9d  812  82.02   169  17.07    9  0.91  0.825
Jd 8h  169  17.07   812  82.02    9  0.91  0.175

The Jack on the river cost me that $8,500 pot when he made two pair. Damn! I would have to rebuy and start over.

Only a few hands later, Perfect Donkey minraised to $40, and I cold called from the button with KQ. The flop was nice, if a little dangerous: Ts, 7h, Kh. My top pair, middle kicker, no-draw hand was probably good here.

Perfect Donkey bet out $100, I raised to $300, he pushed and I called. He turned over Ah 5d, failed to improve, and I was back in business.

I chipped up to over $5,000 with the hopes of one more strong hand against this guy. One more hand to win the biggest pot of my life. One more hand to erase this month's losses. One more hand to make everything right, put a bad player in his place and feel good until I sit down at the World Series of Poker in less than two weeks.

Perfect Donkey raised to $80, and I found AK again. I know how to play this hand against this guy. I re-raised to $300, and he went all in for his entire $11,000 stack.

Did I have a decision to make here? Was there any doubt about calling another $4,700 and taking a potential coinflip?

No, there was no question. I know full well what this guy is capable of. If I fold a premium hand like AK preflop against Perfect Donkey, I might as well put my bankroll in low-risk bonds and never take another chance again in my life.

This is what I had been waiting for. I knew what I had to do. I called.

I got my coinflip. Perfect Donkey had JJ, I failed to improve, and I had lost my biggest pot. So be it.

I rebought a third time, prepared to stay up all night if that's what it took to bust this guy. But it was no use. He quit shortly afterward, leaving the table with more than $20,000. I went on to a 5/10 table where I made top set of Aces and got it all in on the turn, but an 8 on the river gave my opponent his one-outer for quads. Flopped set over set no good.

Time to rebuild. Time to grind it out. Time to get ready for the next Perfect Donkey, in hopes that I can take those same bets for thousands of dollars but perhaps with different outcomes.